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Lottie Moon

Lottie Moon Christmas Offering

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19

As Christmas is fast approaching it is time to remember the sacrificial mission work of one of Southern Baptist’s early female missionaries. She was a pioneer in many ways but most important was her love for our Savior and the people she was called to minister. Lottie Moon was passionate about people knowing Christ. She didn’t hesitate to speak her mind. If you have been around Baptist churches, you have heard the name, but maybe you don’t know the story behind the name. This is a summary of Lottie Moon’s beginnings in Albemarle, Virginia, and her missionary work.

She was born Charlotte Digges “Lottie” Moon in 1840 to a family of affluent tobacco farmers in Albemarle County, Virginia. In December 1858 she dedicated her life to Christ and was baptized at First Baptist Church, Charlottesville, Virginia.

Lottie attended Albemarle Female Institute, the female counterpart to the University of Virginia. In 1861, she was one of the first women in the South to receive a master’s degree. She stayed close to home during the Civil War but eventually taught school in Kentucky, Georgia, and Virginia.

Edmonia Moon, Lottie’s sister, was appointed to Tengchow, China, in 1872. The following year, Lottie was appointed and joined her sister there. Lottie served 39 years as a missionary, mostly in China’s Shantung province. She taught in a girls’ school and often made trips into China’s interior to share the good news with women and girls.

When she set sail for China, Lottie was 32 years old. She had turned down a marriage proposal and left her job, home and family to follow God’s lead. Her path wasn’t typical for an educated woman from a wealthy Southern family. God had gripped her with the Chinese peoples’ need for a Savior.

For 39 years Lottie labored, chiefly in Tengchow and P’ingtu. People feared and rejected her, but she refused to leave. The aroma of fresh-baked cookies drew people to her house. She adopted traditional Chinese dress, and she learned China’s language and customs. Lottie didn’t just serve the people of China; she identified with them. Many eventually accepted her. And some accepted her Savior.

Lottie wrote letters home detailing China’s hunger for truth and the struggle of so few missionaries taking the gospel to the 472 million Chinese in her day. She also shared the urgent need for more workers and for Southern Baptists to support them through prayer and giving.

She once wrote home to the Foreign Mission Board, “Please say to the [new] missionaries they are coming to a life of hardship, responsibility, and constant self-denial.” Disease, turmoil, and lack of co-workers threatened to undo Lottie’s work. But she gave herself completely to God, helping lay the foundation of what would become the modern Chinese church, one of the fastest-growing Christian movements in the world.

Lottie frequently sent letters back home detailing Chinese culture, missionary life, and the physical and spiritual needs of the Chinese people. Additionally, she challenged Southern Baptists to go to China or give so that others could go. By 1888, Southern Baptist women had organized and helped collect $3,315 to send workers needed in China. Lottie Moon died at 72 — ill and in declining health after decades of ministering to her beloved Chinese.

In 1918, Woman’s Missionary Union (WMU) named the annual Christmas offering for international missions after the woman who had urged them to start it.

Today’s China is a world of rapid change. It’s home to 1.4 billion individuals – one-fifth of the world’s population. Village dwellers flock to trendy megacities with exploding populations. It’s very different from the vast farmland Lottie Moon entered in the 1800s. But one thing hasn’t changed: China’s need for a Savior.

Her legacy lives on. And today, when gifts aren’t growing as quickly as the number of workers God is calling to the field, her call for sacrificial giving rings with more urgency than ever.

Marriage–Communication

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Colossians 4:6
 
(This is part 4 in a series on foundations of a healthy marriage.)

              
Healthy communication is absolutely foundational to every strong marriage. If you cannot communicate with your spouse in a healthy way, frustrations turn into anger and conflict is created instead of resolved. Communication is partly verbal and partly non-verbal. As a husband or wife, what your words say need to match up with the non-verbal expression of your face and actions of your life. As Christians we are commanded to be gracious in our speech. This carries over from the fruits of the Holy Spirit of kindness and gentleness. When our communication tends toward harshness and anger something is wrong.
             
Below are ten basic practical steps to maintaining healthy and gracious communication in your marriage:
 

  1. Respect your spouse and treat them with kindness. You speak in a careful and self-controlled way to people that you respect. You speak with kindness toward people that you love. You should both respect and love your spouse, resulting in the type of communication listed below.
  2. Really listen: When you really listen to someone you pay attention and want to hear what they have to say. Really listening considers the merit in what the other person has to say. This means not interrupting the other person because what you have to say is more important. This means you are not formulating a counter-response while they are talking. You can’t listen and jump to a conclusion before the other person has finished their thought. Listening is related to patience and friendship. Interruption and retaliation are related to competition and adversaries.
  3. Assume the best: Many occasions arise each week where something happens, and we only know part of the story. In every such situation with your spouse you must assume the best. You must begin by trusting your spouse and assuming that there is a good explanation for whatever you don’t know about the situation. Love is hopeful in all things (1 Cor 13:7). The opposite is to assume the worst of your spouse. This is the attitude of distrust we develop with our enemies.
  4. Don’t bring up past forgiven sins: If your spouse has asked for forgiveness and you have granted forgiveness, it should not be brought up against them again. You must ask God for the self-control to not drag your spouse back into the mud they just got free of. In an ungodly way, it can feel satisfying to strengthen your position by undercutting your spouse, but none of this is of Christ. We seek to reconcile with our spouse, not defeat them in a battle of words and accusations.
  5. Don’t undercut or barb: To undercut or barb is to make negative and hurtful comments that imply what you want without clear communication. These side comments are not made to be helpful, but to insult and “remind” a person of their problems. Instead, if you have a struggle or grievance with your spouse, speak and listen in a kind way that has the opportunity to lead to reconciliation and peace.
  6. Do not raise your voice: “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” James 1:20. When you raise your voice with your spouse, anger has come upon you. Yelling at your spouse may make you feel self-vindicated in the moment, but nothing of the Lord will come from it. You should never yell at your spouse. The non-verbal of raising your voice overwhelms anything true or helpful you may say. It’s literally lost in the noise.
  7. Try to have good timing: Work to bring up difficult subjects at a time conducive to resolution. It’s not wise to bring up difficult subjects when your spouse is dead tired, holding a crying child, just in the door from work, late for an appointment, or for whatever reason is not in a place to have an unhurried conversation that could resolve the issue.
  8. Avoid “always / never” in conflict resolution: Overstatements do not help resolve conflict. Overstatements work to categorize the entire person as a problem. Instead, work to isolate specific instances of struggle or sin, so the offending person can ask forgiveness and work to correct a specific problem.
  9. Stop texting when the communication turns negative: It is impossible to resolve conflict by text. When communication turns negative, you must talk by phone or in person as soon as possible. Both spouses need to reach agreement on this before the angry texts start flying. One spouse or the other must identify that the communication has taken a negative turn, and state that they need to call or meet.
  10. Seek resolution: Never give up on each other. Seek resolution and reconciliation because of love and your marriage vows. Apathy and division are not acceptable in Christian marriage. Work the problems out with healthy communication and prayer.

I encourage you to put these basic principles in a place where you will be reminded of them often, then pray for self-control and love to abide by them.

Lord, help us to speak with grace and kindness,
Pastor Vic

Marriage–Forgiveness

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”–Ephesians 4:32
 
(This is part three in a series on fundamentals of Christian marriage)


Focusing on fundamentals always strengthens the foundation of any important relationship or activity. The fundamentals of Christian marriage are love, service, and forgiveness. Let’s examine forgiveness.

Every marriage consists of two sinners. No matter how wonderful your spouse is – they are a sinner and so are you. An enduring and happy marriage is not about the magical meeting of two people that are “perfect” for each other. There are people that share more in common and those that have less in common, but both are still sinners that will have to forgive each other to endure in happiness. However, the primary reason that a husband and wife forgive one another is not to preserve the happiness of marriage. As Ephesians 4:32 states plainly, we are to forgive others because we have been forgiven all our sins by God. When we put our faith in Jesus Christ and ask for the forgiveness of sins, by the grace of God extended to us, our sins are forgiven (1 John 1:9). This is unconditional grace. This is what it means that our salvation is by grace alone through faith. It is a strong New Testament theme that we must forgive others because we have been forgiven by God. We cannot have grace extended to us and not extend grace to others. Jesus taught this clearly by the parable of the unforgiving servant – Matthew 18:21-35.

In this Christian mandate to show grace and forgive because we have been forgiven, surely the first person that we should forgive should be that person that we have the nearest relationship to – our spouse. However, the old proverb is often true that familiarity breeds contempt. We spend the most time with our spouse and so have cause to find fault with them. We know more about them than any other person, so we have the most visibility to spotlight their sin.

It’s important to ask the question, “What is forgiveness?” Forgiveness has specific language and goes through a specific process. Forgiveness is much more than just telling another person, “I’m sorry.” True forgiveness results in relational reconciliation. True forgiveness brings two people that were separated by relational distance back together in happy fellowship. For this to happen, the offending person must go to the person they wronged and say, “I’m sorry for (what I said or did). Will you please forgive me?” It’s essential that no excuses or blame-shifting be attached to this. This statement is a statement of personal culpability. This is a statement that you were in the wrong, and through confession are seeking reconciliation on your part. This then gives the spouse the opportunity to show grace and extend forgiveness. This process allows for true reconciliation instead of stuffing hurtful grievances into an emotional closet that will eventually burst open and can shatter a relationship.

Christian forgiveness is an interesting and theologically rooted concept. When you confess your sins and God forgives you, does God forget your sins? The answer is – no. God is all-knowing. For the sake of Jesus Christ and because of him bearing the penalty of your guilt on the cross, your sin is accounted to Jesus and not to you. You are forgiven for Jesus’ sake and that sin is not counted against you. The process is similar in marriage. When we forgive our spouse, we don’t forget the sins. We know who they are and we know what they have done, but because of the grace shown to us we choose not to count those things against them anymore. 1 Corinthians 13: 5 declares that love in not “resentful.” In other translations this word is rendered more fully as “keeps no record of wrongs.” A resentful person is a grudge-bearing person that keeps a tight list of all the ways they have been wronged. This is the opposite of grace and forgiveness. This is a person that will never let you forget all the wrong things you have done and will weaponize those wrongs against you when needed to get the upper hand.

Resentful unforgiveness will destroy a marriage every time. If you choose to not forgive your spouse from the heart and continue to count their sins against them, a wedge will grow between you that will become harder and harder to reconcile. However, if you keep short accounts and quickly ask for and grant forgiveness – grace, love, and peace will thrive in your marriage.

Coming full circle, you must see that the forgiveness extended to you by Jesus comes from the root of God’s love for you (John 3:16). God’s forgiveness of your sins is not a thing of dry judicial duty. God’s forgiveness of your sins flows from His unconditional love for you. And so, it will be with your spouse. You will truly forgive them because you love them. “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8. Because of God’s love expressed to us in the grace of Jesus, we also express grace and forgiveness to our spouse because we earnestly love them.

Forgiveness is a fundamental of every happy marriage, and the ability to forgive flows from our salvation in Jesus.

Let us be tenderhearted and forgive one another,
Pastor Vic

Thanksgiving 2022

“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” —Colossians 4:2
 
“But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” —1 Timothy 6:6-8
Thanksgiving is such an important and distinctly Christian holiday. It’s right and good to set aside a time every year to stop our normal activities to give thanks. I trust that yesterday was a such a time for you, your friends, and family.

Thankfulness is a Christian virtue constantly emphasized in scripture – from thank offerings in the Old Testament, to Jesus’s regular pattern of giving thanks in prayer, to constant commendations in the New Testament to live a life of thankfulness. Your heart of thankfulness reflects your belief in the goodness and faithfulness of God. If God is good and merciful, then it holds that what He provides for His children will be good. A good God provides good things for His children whom He loves. For this we should be thankful.

Does God’s goodness mean that He will give us all we want when we want it? Does any good parent give their children all they want whenever they want it? No! A child given their every desire when they want it is called a spoiled child. Children raised in this way become the most ungrateful people, usually demanding of others what is unreasonable to give. Receiving more does not equal a thankful or content heart. A godly parent will be generous, but also teach a child the virtue of self-control by reigning in their desires. Thankfulness and contentment are twin virtues that enable each other. A content heart can be thankful. A thankful heart can be content. God is good, generous, and merciful. He will provide your needs according to His good purposes for your life. As you follow after Christ Jesus, waiting on His timing and purposes in your life, may the Holy Spirit cultivate thankfulness and contentment in your heart.

We should recognize that due to the sinful nature of our hearts we are bent toward greed, covetousness, and discontent. We should pray for a thankful heart and ask God to help us by the Holy Spirit to be truly content people. I encourage you to cultivate Christian patterns of thankfulness in your life. Genuinely pray with thanksgiving before each meal (Matt 14:19, Luke 24:30, and many others) and make thanksgiving an intentional, regular part of your personal and family prayers (Philippians 4:6).

Let’s walk by faith in thanksgiving and contentment!
Pastor Vic

Marriage–Service

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” —Philippians 2:3-4


(This is part 2 of a series on building a healthy Christian marriage.)

Last week, I wrote to you about love as the first fundamental of a healthy Christian marriage. The second fundamental is service. Paul commands that we follow in the example of Christ by serving. This attitude of service should characterize our lives toward all people, but especially toward our spouse. Sadly, familiarity does often breed contempt, but the first person we should serve should be that person we love the most – our spouse.

“Do nothing from selfishness …” The “nothing” part of this verse should be sobering and jump out to us. There is no room for selfishness in Christian marriage. There is no “me” time. There is no, “I deserve this and am going to do this / buy this / go here no matter what my spouse thinks or needs.” The Christian life in general, and Christian marriage in particular, is about dying to your selfishness. There is no more me, there is only us. Two have become one in marriage. Because of the redeeming work of Jesus, each spouse is laboring to out-serve the other. Nothing is done from selfishness that would harm, offend, or take from the other spouse. Does selfishness characterize your marriage? Do you act in ways that are all about you, and leave your spouse to pick up the pieces?

“Do nothing from … conceit …” In the union of Christian marriage neither spouse should act in a way that is proud or conceited. Vanity exalts the individual. Pride is self-focused. Nothing in Christian marriage should be related to individual vanity because the pride of one spouse is always at the expense of the other. One is raised up and the other left behind. It appears to the watching world that the one spouse accomplished what they did all by themselves, when any married couple knows that the accomplishments come as a team. The married couple is ‘yoked’ together. They pull together to accomplish the work of the day and meet the needs of life. For one spouse to take the credit of work done by both is an act of pride and leads to resentment and division. Has pride entered into your marriage where you no longer openly praise and appreciate your spouse’s contributions to the family? If so, then pride has corrupted your heart.

“In humility count others more significant than yourselves …” As an everyday fundamental of Christian marriage we count our spouse as more significant than ourselves. Wow! Really? Yes. The servant heart comes from actively putting yourself in the second place. Your spouse gets the first place – everyday. Humble servant-hearted love looks for ways to meet the needs of their spouse through service. The mind of the loving spouse keeps drifting back to, “What can I do for you?” not “What can you do for me?” These are unconditional acts of loving service, not transactional. Christian love is NOT, “I’ll do this for you, if you do this for me.” Christian service walks in the way of Jesus, “I’ll do this for you, even if you do nothing for me in return.” Then it goes even further, “I’ll serve you in this way because I love you, even if you return this act of humble service with anger and ungratefulness.” This is the Christ-like service of Christian marriage.

To accomplish this you must observe your spouse. It’s still selfishness to do something for your spouse you wanted to do for them. You enter into service when you do for them something they want you to do for them. This shows you are listening and observant. Be a student of your spouse. See their needs and hear their desires, then work with a heart of love to count them more significant than yourself with the limited resources of each day.

You may be thinking that this is an impossibly high standard, and you would be right! The world fails at each of the fundamentals of marriage because they do not have the abiding work of the Holy Spirit to work out the sanctification necessary to make progress in marriage. Without the work of the Holy Spirit, we will be selfish people, and selfishness kills marriage. The number one phrase I hear in marriage counseling of troubled marriages headed toward divorce is, “This person doesn’t meet my needs.” This is fundamentally a selfish statement. Couples that are devoted to serving each other and counting the needs of the other as more important than their own, don’t make statements like this.

Christian marriage can thrive because each spouse goes to Jesus – the fount of living water that will never run dry – to meet the needs of their soul. From being with Jesus, the soul is full and able then to pour into others by acts of service. When we run dry, we go back and abide near Jesus to be strengthened for another day. When you go to your spouse for what only Jesus can provide the equation will not work out.

For more on the mandate of service from Jesus read and consider the account of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet in John 13. Ask yourself, “Does the heart of Jesus in this passage describe how I treat my spouse?” If not, realize that you are not above Jesus. Return to the fundamental of service and demonstrate to your spouse a Christ-like heart.

Holy Spirit give us a servant’s heart toward those most dear to us,
Pastor Vic