“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Matthew 22:39 ESV
Two summary commands are given to us by Jesus that summarize all the other commands of God: love the Lord and love your neighbor. Love is the master virtue of the Christian life. It is the virtue and characteristic of the Holy Spirit that will distinguish us from the unbelieving world (John 13:34-35). If we abound in loving God, it will result in us abounding in love toward those around us. If we do not have a growing and authentic love for those around us, it is an indicator that there is something wrong, or disingenuous, concerning our love to God.
God made human beings for relationship with Himself. This is the most important part of human beings, of both sexes and every race, being made in the image of God. Sin and rebellion destroyed the possibility of relationship between God and humanity. Jesus was sent to atone for our sins, to pay the price of justice, to overcome death, so there might be peace between God and humanity. Jesus came to overcome death and impart His eternal life to us. Once we are born again into the eternal life of Jesus by grace alone, we are commanded to then turn to others. We are commanded to demonstrate the love of Jesus to people around us.
Relationships are the best part of life! All our relationships are ordered under our chief relationship of life in Jesus. From this chief relationship, we branch out into other interpersonal relationships. How are your interpersonal relationships? Do you have a life filled with friendship? Are you a friend to many? I firmly believe that loving your neighbor is lived out in a few basic ways. First, you must not just love those people that love you. It is a basic part of the teaching of Jesus that we are to love and show sacrificial kindness toward those who are not already our friends and would not naturally be our friends. This principle is clearly and powerfully taught by Jesus in Luke 10:25-37 with the parable of the good Samaritan. We are repeatedly commanded by Jesus that ‘loving our neighbor’ means loving people with needs that are brought into our path. This will involve sacrifice and going out of our normal path to demonstrate the kindness, patience, and love of Jesus to someone in need.
The second basic way we love our neighbor is by asking questions to really know people. It is essential to ask other people questions to get to know them. We should not approach another person with assumptions that they are basically like us, or that their life experiences are basically like our life experiences. Love of neighbor genuinely demonstrates a desire to know that person. Genuine love of neighbor wants to know who the person is so you might value them, serve them, pray for them, minister the love of Jesus to them in an appropriate and effective way. This is the opposite of the selfish unbelieving world. Too often in our sinfulness we learn about others with the motive of how that knowledge can benefit us. Or we spend too much time talking about ourselves instead of listening to the person before us with empathy. We do not enter into the life of our neighbor so we can use them to achieve our ends. This is the opposite of the commanded love of Jesus.
A primary place for every Christian to demonstrate this love of neighbor is the context of the local church. It is required of us to not only attend the services of the church but to love the people of the church! We must lean into the lives of the people around us. You should get to know the people around you in various settings of the church. Ask about their lives. Learn about their struggles. Bear each other’s burdens through true sacrificial love and prayer. Deepen friendship through joint sacrificial service and devotion to Jesus.
Truly meaningful relationships take time to grow – years to grow. You can’t microwave truly loving your neighbor. The most meaningful interpersonal relationships must grow through shared conversation, shared context, and shared struggle over time. To share such things with people over time, you must choose to remain with one group of people, with one church, for years. As you consistently show trustworthy kindness and godly love to friends, trust is built. True trust in a ‘zero trust’ society is a precious and valuable thing. It’s necessary to have people you trust in your life. It’s necessary to have people you trust in the church.
The last part of this verse relates to loving your neighbor “as yourself.” Loving God is first. Loving others is second. Loving yourself is third. It is right and good to have a proper perspective of self-love, or self-care. If you’re a person that loathes yourself, cannot forgive yourself for past failures, is bound up by inner anxieties and fears, or (on the opposite hand) is puffed up by pride, your problematic self-image will affect your ability to have healthy relationships with other people and with God. We must preach the gospel to ourselves. We must remind ourselves of the truth we learn from Scripture and make a conscious choice to believe the truth and act upon it. Incrementally increasing faith in God’s truth will change our self-image. As our self-image becomes truthful and healthy, we will be able to properly love others as we properly care for our own person.
May the Lord strengthen us to love each other as Jesus would have us to do.
– Pastor Vic