Today’s devotion can be heard here.
Below, is the written transcript of the devotion:
“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’”
Genesis 1:27-28 (ESV)
A few weeks ago, the Wall Street Journal ran a very interesting article entitled, “Can a Couple Live on One Income and Afford to Buy a Home?” That’s a really good question in an era where every young family feels the pressure of ever-rising prices! The ultimate answer of the article was ‘Yes,’ but I want to take some time to unpack this question from a Christian perspective.
We should begin this answer with a Christian basis for why marriage and children are a good, desirable, and commanded way of life. The above Scripture is the creation mandate that reminds us for all time that God created marriage as a blessed state that should be the normally pursued state of living for all people. A sexual relationship is an assumed part of a marriage relationship, and sex is designed by God to produce children born into a two parent (father and mother) home. It is not God’s design for most of the world to be single, sexually active, and a very high percentage of children be born to non-married couples (the US figure for 2025 stood at 40% of all children born were born to unmarried mothers). This situation leads to the feeling that now pervades much of Western culture, that children are a drag to our personal goals (career and otherwise) and our hopes to achieve an affluent life. The Bible states that marriage is a blessing designed by God and that multiple children should be sought, and welcomed, as an outcome of marriage. Together, the Bible presents a married life with children as a blessing!
The one-income issue comes into focus once children arrive in marriage, because children don’t raise themselves. Having children comes along with the responsibility to raise them to the best of your ability as a dad and mom. In the complementing gender roles of a man and woman in marriage, the woman / mother is the primary nurturer and homemaker. This starts biologically with breast-feeding the newborn and carries on from there. Prior to children, both spouses working outside of the home is normal and not counter to God’s design. The struggle ensues when mom stays home to care for junior and their income is dramatically cut.
This proposition is controversial and offensive to many in our age. I will try to reduce the argument to the bare-bones basics. Children are dependent on caregivers. God has designed dad and mom to be those primary caregivers. Dad and mom have a particular God-designed role in loving and disciplining their children. A parent cannot pay anyone enough to love and discipline their child as they personally can and should. As children grow older, they become more self-sufficient and less dependent on mom, opening more of her time for pursuits outside of the home. Caring for small children is a blessed season! If a couple has multiple children, as urged by God to do, then there will be a prolonged period of years where mom will need to be very present to care for small children as a primary caregiver. These are work-intensive, but precious years, that radically affect the rest of a child’s life. The early years are an opportunity to build a foundation of spiritual, physical, and mental health.
There are four basic pillars that make it possible for a family to live on one income: earning through skilled work, thrift and simplicity, community, and prayer. First, is earning through skilled work. This is primarily dad’s role. This means that, though mom may contribute to the financial strength of the home, the responsibility (pressure) to make ends meet is on dad. For home economics to work, as the family size increases, family income must increase. In the most basic sense, a husband must continue to pursue skilled labor that will increase in value as his family increases in size. This can take many forms — gaining more skilled licenses in a trade, being promoted in a large company or government job, opening your own business that creates more profit for the family, or achieving an advanced degree that translates into a higher paying job. Economically, the husband must focus not just on having a job, but pursuing a skilled career that can grow and support his family. Sometimes, this involves a significant career change to pursue new opportunities, and it’s never too late to work toward bettering your situation as needed.
Second is thrift, simplicity, and contentment. No matter how much income you have, you can always spend more than you make. Having mom home with small children will involve a long-term focus on thrift. Few young couples can have mom home with small children without making intentional decisions toward simplicity. This means that mom and dad are committed to used cars, shopping the clearance rack, Aldi over Whole Foods, buying used/second-hand stuff, and only hiring out work they can’t do themselves (cooking your own food, packing your own lunch, drinking your own coffee, doing basic car repairs and oil changes, painting your own walls, etc.). This means living within your means (not going into credit card debt). It means not having the latest electronic gadgets or the most stylish clothes. In the end, this should be done with contentment and joy, thankful that the Lord has met your needs. It’s an intentional way of life that chooses marriage and children over the American-grind culture of insatiable materialism.
Third, is community. Every young couple will need help from family and friends. God has designed this way of life to create a momentum of generational strength. The more generations before you that chose to live in this way, the more stable your family situation will be. If you come from a fractured family, or grew up in daycare, it will take faith and learning from other Christians to learn how to walk in these ways. That’s help from community. If you come from strength, that will lend strength to your young home. That’s help from family. Be humble and willing to ask for help and receive help as needed. Everyone gets in a pinch, runs short, and has emergencies that are too much for dad and mom to handle alone. I believe it’s right to appeal to family first, but this is not always possible. The Bible is clear that in the church, by God’s providence, the Lord provides abundance for some so that they may help others. But over time the situations will change, and those who were strong will become weak to receive from those who were weak but are now strong (2 Corinthians 8:12-15). Within the community of the local church there will always be enough to meet needs as we are generous, live simply, and are humble to receive help as needed (Acts 4:34).
Fourth is prayer. It is an act of faith in God to pursue Christian marriage. It’s an act of faith to have multiple children. It’s an act of faith to adopt children into your family. No one has it all together. Life is filled with hardship and desperate struggle. We will have children and provide for them through great difficulty, but in this struggle we give our burdens to the Lord in prayer! What a friend we have in Jesus, all our griefs to bear. As husband and wife, you struggle together against the common hardship – not against each other in the hardship. Together you work and pray and trust God to open doors and make a way. Over the years, as God does meet needs and open doors, we worship and our faith grows. Also, along the way our kids see us working and praying. They see God answering prayer and they learn the reality of God by watching dad and mom live the Christian life. It’s in the struggle that we see ourselves as weak and learn that God is good and all-powerful.
This is a very large and complex subject. There are many versions of what right looks like here, but let’s not lose sight of the basics that Christian marriage is good and to be pursued. Children need present parents, and small children especially need mom at home. Dad needs to work hard to be the primary provider of the home. We must live simply and with contentment. We all need the community of family and the local church. Every step of the way we must commit our decisions to Jesus in prayer (Proverbs 3:5-6). We must walk by faith. Through this families are raised up, generations are built, and God is glorified through His design.
If you read this and feel that you’re way off track, do not lose heart! The salvation of Jesus and the wisdom of the Bible is never too late to apply. No situation is beyond redemption! Start praying for wisdom, making different choices, and moving in a better direction.
May we be wise, work hard, and live by faith in Jesus,
Pastor Vic