Fathers
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
This Sunday is Father’s Day, an important time to reflect on the role of dad in the home. Children need a mother and a father. Both bring vital, but different, dynamics into the life of a child. Fathers, I believe the most important thing I can point out to you on Father’s Day is that you learn what is means to be a father by following after the example of our Heavenly Father. It’s not a coincidence that God instructs us to address Him as Father. God could have instructed us to address Him by many other honorific titles, but He chose “Father.” This title is one of honor and respect, but also of relationship and love. Every Christian father will learn what it truly means to be a father by looking to and learning from our Heavenly Father. No matter how good or how bad of a father you may have, we each look to the Heavenly Father for the ideal and example of how we ought to be a father to our children.
This all begins with salvation. Have you turned away from your sins and believed in the salvation of Jesus? Those who love the Son (Jesus), also love God the Father. “No one who denies the Son has the Father. Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also” 1 John 2:23. When we come into the salvation of God the Father, this is also described as being adopted into the family of God (John 1:12, Galatians 4:4-7). We move from being enslaved to our sinful passions and under the dominion of Satan in this world, to be adopted children of God. We are called His friends and given an inheritance in His kingdom. As children of God, we experience and learn about His fatherly love. We ourselves grow up under His care and go out to follow His example to love our children by His power.
There are at least five aspects of being a Father we learn from the Heavenly Father and should work out in our lives.
First, be present in the lives of your children. Faithfulness is a fruit of the Spirit because it is a fundamental part of the character of God. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” Hebrews 13:5b (also Joshua 1:5, Psalm 37:25, 2 Corinthians 4:9). God the Father does not come and go from our lives based on our performance or by changes of purpose in His own heart. His love for us is purposeful, unconditional, and unchanging. He is always present in our lives. In the same way, we must be ever-present in the lives of our sons and daughters. This doesn’t mean we all work from home, but in its most basic form it does mean that we will never abandon them through the selfishness of divorce. The fear of being left by you should never enter the mind of your child. As we are secure in the love the Heavenly Father, so your children should rest secure in your love. However, beyond that, you are pressing day by day, and week by week to be involved in their lives in every way you possibly can. You are present with them.
Second, God the Father is full of love toward His children. “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love…” 1 John 4:16. The actions of God toward us are motivated by His passion of love for us. God is not dispassionate. He is not just keeping score. God the Father loves His children and is actively shaping their lives. He is providing for their needs, guiding them to good places, teaching and disciplining – but all in love. God the Father is for His children – not against them. He shapes their lives in a serious way, but He does not act in anger toward them. He is drawing His children close to Him in love, not pushing them away in coldness, pride, or frustration.
Third, God the Father disciplines those who are truly His children. “The Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives” Hebrews 12:6. God the Father does not allow us to do whatever we want. He does not sit back idle as we run into sin and destroy ourselves. In love, God the Father brings corrective discipline into our lives. Purposeful pain to get our attention, correct our course, and get our relationship with Him back into a healthy place. As fathers we must also discipline our children in love. We cannot sit back and let our children do whatever they choose. To do so is to neglect our role as a father. But we must also not allow anger to shape our discipline and so wound the hearts of our children. Loving discipline brings order to the lives of our children and is a foundation for them understanding God’s ultimate authority in their lives. By wisely disciplining our children we are helping their spiritual formation.
Fourth, God the Father provides for our needs, and we should provide for the needs of our children. “Give us this day our daily bread…” Matthew 6:11. We are instructed to pray and call upon God the Father to meet our daily needs. We live in trusting dependance upon God the Father. In a similar way, your children live in trusting dependance upon you – dad. This is why the IRS calls them ‘dependents!’ This does not mean you give them whatever they want, but through hard work and self-sacrifice you provide for them what they need. God the Father does not supply our needs grudgingly but is glad to give us good gifts (Matthew 7:7-11). In the same way, we should die to ourselves and find joy in supplying the needs of our children. A significant part of the security and love your children feel comes from knowing that they can come to you with need and know you will lovingly work to meet that need.
Fifth, God the Father discloses Himself to us so we might know who He is and how we might come to salvation in Jesus. As father’s it is commanded by God that we train our children in the instruction of the Lord. It is primarily our responsibility to make the salvation of God known to our children. We must make believing in and serving the Lord the highest priority in our own lives, so we lead by example. We must model godliness to our children all along the road of life – at family meals, in the car, in times of stress, in good times, in hard times, and on Sunday morning. There are countless activities that never stop competing for the hearts of our kids and youths. As fathers, we must set the tone in our families that the things of God always come first – before sports, before career, before secular education. There must be no doubt in the mind of your children that you agree with Jesus, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?” Mark 8:36-37. We must lead in spiritual things, so they can follow.
Happy Father’s Day dads! Count fatherhood for the blessing it is, and ask the Heavenly Father to make you more like Himself one day at a time!
May we follow in the example of God the Father,
Pastor Vic