Gossip
“And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers …” Romans 1:28-29
“For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.” Proverbs 26:20
“The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.”
Proverbs 18:17
Gossip has been a common problem in every age, but the Bible classifies it as sin. In Romans 1 Paul traces out the descent of human beings into rebellion against God. As sinful people reject God, they are given over “to what ought not to be done.” Included in that long list is gossip.
Gossip is usually defined as unrestrained conversation about other people, typically involving unconfirmed statements presented as true, and the conversation is spoken in negative terms. Let’s break this down. Gossip begins with unconstrained conversation about other people. When our conversation begins to discuss people we know, but who are not present for the conversation (face to face or digital), our speech should be careful and limited. When others come up in our conversation we should strive to only speak well of them unless there is a good and truly necessary reason to speak against them. To speak against another person in conversation, when that person is not present to speak for themselves, should be a rare occurrence and for a necessary honorable reason.
Gossipers relish speaking badly of others when they are not present. Gossipers find great pleasure in tearing down the character of others by whispering side conversations and in private on-line spaces. Gossipers are not working to build up others but attempt to increase their own social standing by tearing down others and planting destructive narratives in the hearts of those who will listen. Gossip is a serious problem because it is meant to divide by intentionally maligning the character of others who are not present to speak for themselves. Gossipers are not interested in the truth or in resolving problems.
Gossipers work to create their own narrative that pits people against each other in strategic ways so they can get what they want. This process is accelerated and exacerbated by social media in our day. In days past, to speak poorly of another person by unconfirmed rumor, one literally had to whisper in the hall or corner. People would whisper so they undercut their enemy while not exposing their gossip to other people possibly speaking against the lie they may be telling. Today, private social media messages can be instantly sent to an entire social network of people to malign a person’s character, without ever seeking the full story from the person being spoken about and giving them a chance for rebuttal. Gossip that is repeated becomes truth to those without discernment or Godly character.
We all know people like this and the interpersonal damage and hurt they can cause. Gossipers are present in every social area of our lives, but as Christians we should not participate in gossip. Instead, we should use our words to move in the opposite direction.
How should Christians speak to each other? If we should have no part in gossip, what should we be saying? Christians should above all things love each other. Love seeks the truth in order to help and build up others. We must not speak poorly of them, tear them down, or repeat character defaming tales. This begins by desiring the good of those in your family, church, school, and workplace. Christians are working to bless those around them, not to use others for their own personal advancement. Christians should stay in their own lanes of personal activity. If a matter does not relate to you, you should not embroil yourself in it. Christians should work to hear the other side of a story in matters that do involve them. We should be wise enough to realize that there are two sides to every story. When we don’t understand a situation, we should ask genuine questions instead of drawing gossip-based conclusions. Christians encourage, turn away from sin, and do not say things that would not be justified to say if the person spoken of were physically present.
In Matthew 5:43-47 we are commanded by Jesus to do something unimaginable to the lost world, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This can be applied in many ways, but it certainly relates to being on the receiving end of gossip or slander. As Christians, we must recognize that people gossiped about Jesus constantly. Our response must be like that of Jesus! We must return blessing for cursing. We must love those who hate us. We must even pray for them! In a truly hurtful situation, this can only be done by the grace of God. Only the merciful Savior, Jesus, can strengthen us to pray for those who speak maliciously against us! By acting in this way, we become peacemakers and break the cycle of vengeance. We create an opportunity to speak about the gospel and the merciful love of Jesus.
I urge us as a church to be careful and diligent in these matters. May Redeemer be a place completely different from this world. May gossip have no place here. May the Lord teach us by His Spirit to be full of self-control, love, and encouragement. May out words bless and build up, strengthen and give hope.
Lord Jesus, help us to guard our mouths for your glory,
Pastor Vic